Smile or the Smirk get's it!!

2006-07-16T21:29:00.000+10:00

Its been over a month since my... Last minute to myself.

Crazy shit left right and rrreh has been pushing and pulling my inner idiot to the point where I should just sit down take a big deep breath and stop...

Stop and look is definitely what I haven't been doing, not that I have been crazy or doing stupid shit again but I have just found myself in that pathetic state where I need to rely on things that I just don't need or want to.

Since my flat mate blattenly told me that she was moving out and I was left either with an empty 3 x bedroom flat or up and go also was a massive kick in the stomach. Feeling cheated and lied to I started my dearch for a more consistent male flat mate. In which I found shortly after...Only one problem now is no flat. Great.

My second -I think many people agree- pet hate is looking for a rental property which fits nicely after a job. I absolutely hate filling out stupid forms that don't even outline who you really are, they are just a big load of shit that states what you do and I don't think my date of birth and current address is very appealing at the moment.

So my hunt begins and although im supported always i dont like compassion towards me, well definately not in this regards. It just makes me feel that i need help which i hate because im the first one to ask for a hand and i appreciate when people do the same.

Anyway i will keep this little blog going... for myself and one special friend as i know she keeps an eye on it sometimes.

Over and out for now captain>>

2006-06-10T23:09:00.000+10:00

Clean Clean Clean... Rrreh Rrreh Rrreh!

2006-06-07T17:39:00.000+10:00

-TRUTH-

A young girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to crystal
meth wrote this. She wrote this while in jail.
As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as
she tells in this simple, yet profound poem.

She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug
owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still
in her
arm.

I am meth.
I destroy homes, I tear families apart,
I take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me, remember I'm easily found,
I live all around you - in schools and in town
I live with the rich, I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.
In your child's closet, and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.
I have many names, but there's one you know best,
I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.
My power is awesome, try me you'll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie,
You do what you have to -- just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.
You'll lie to your mother, you'll steal from your dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,
I'll be with you always -- right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give,
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned - this is no game,
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,
I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,
The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told, But you
challenged my
power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away,
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master, you will be my slave,
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell,
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

xxxx

2006-05-28T21:11:00.000+10:00

Comparing how I felt a full week ago, I can say that im definitely looking on that side of like that's bloody brighter. Not that im indulging my life in a deep 4 series novel but I feel good, happy thoughts, no worries and im looking forward without any stress.

Having such a normal and completely smoooooth weekend makes me feel content with myself. Back to the bloody basics with a bit of trashy dancing, buying double bourbons, camp cleaning, saw a movie, 3hr long cigarette conversations...It felt true.

Its just a bloody juxtaposition having everything in the world, from drugs and the big bright lights of a night club to standing crowded in a tiny old, worn and torn pub listening to an acoustic guitar man...

Looking ahead to a long week at the office, doesn't really sound all that bad. I actually look forward to slowly waking up on the bus, feeling my brain tick over as I shove Vocal Trance into it every morning. Looking up high as I can as I walk across George St being surrounded by buildings and looking down the street likes its some sort of path. A path to what- who knows really.

As much as I can fucking grind my teeth and get annoyed that Sydney is so lonely and bare. I love just being able to bounce along every morning, subconsciously giving the city an uplifting Camp hit. Sometimes trying not to giggle to myself as I look forward and see a weird looking person, a trash bag on Monday morning, a cute manly man, an annoying bastard handing out shit...

...Why???

I just think its worth every breath, being able to admire who you are and just give a smile, you may think its unreasonable to be laughing/grinning at 8:45am but its really not. In the end you know if someone see's you having a chuckle or grinning from ear to ear...They will smile to :)

xxx

2006-05-23T22:28:00.000+10:00

We all definately know who the above word refers to at the moment. We wont point fingers, but we also wont tell lies. Ill face the fact and believe in myself to break through the distinct frustration it's caused. ..

...Its raining and bloody cold, thats where i'll end...

xxx

2006-05-20T15:12:00.000+10:00

Its been nearly a month now...

Waking up at that usual time and hitch hiking bus number 254 down each morning was just steady and similar. Work has turned into an addictive part of my life, incorporating a nice social involvement whilst earning good money.

Sitting home the weekend previous to this one basically made me realise that life is never what you want it to be. You will always get aggravated and sometimes lonely. Spending a lot of time with myself this weekend made me want to reach out to the bright lights and dance the hours away, to feel completely free and have no responsibilities.

It was nearly 4 months ago...

That I put my mouth to that dirty crystal pipe. It came on very suddenly and completely unexpectedly. I was visiting a nice boy who was both sexy and could hold a conversation. Which is quite a rare "catch" in my books.

Putting the somewhat funnt pipe to my mouth and have a good old toot brought back many funny and fabulous memories. It also brought back many dark memories of the past during my complete "scatter brains" episode at work the next day. Now looking back I can have a laugh and say I was completely impulsive and somewhat irresponsible but pfft no regrets.

I also saw some old and very dear friends sometime in the morning before work, which was maybe a highlight of the night. A lot of advise was shared and hold that so close and have taken it on board which I'm glad.

After work (rrreh) I somehow gathered my "shop" and took my frizzled body to the bar and had a beer which was nice. Soon enough to leave and hail a cab (in which I nearly fell asleep in) back home to sit the sack at 7:26pm - awaking at 11:30am which definitely helped the mind and batteries recharge from a very random and nice night.

Sitting at home today, eating my Dominos Puffection pizza (delivered), smoking my cigarettes and listening to classic happy hardcore alone isn't all that bad.

Im looking forward to going to the AFL in a few hours with Mum & Dad...Rrreh!

2006-04-26T20:27:00.000+10:00

Explaining a feeling that isnt even "defined" is pretty difficult...rolling of 15 descriptive words in attempt isn't worth it either. I have felt extremely special but also extremely lonely and lost. Trying to accept the bloody obvious isnt one of my perks...just a silly flaunt that i cherish to hate.

I love dreaming of something or someone that isnt at my fingertips, waiting and wishing for something no one can predict. Thinking of what could be, kind of letting it eat at me and make be wonder what may be on the "other" side... Ah rrrehh!

The one thing that i want to get out of the next few months is a goal... a plan, either little or huge. Something that i can think about when i look out that window see that boring, muggy, overcast weather and couldnt be fucked thinking whats new or whats next on the menu of experiences. I can lay back and know that i have an experience weather its pathetic and no one would understand or something different and involves a smile goodbye...not forever though.

Otherwise i think im coming up with the flu... my right nostrel's washers need replacing and my mind needs a good 10 hours sleep...So ill plan so get that first.

xxx

2006-04-23T18:28:00.000+10:00

Bounce, Bounce, Bounce...

2006-04-18T20:56:00.000+10:00

-Your love is magical, that's how I feel
But I have not the words here to explain
Gone is the grace for expressions of passion
But there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain
To tell you how I feel
But I am speechless, speechless
That's how you make me feel
Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is for real
When I'm with you I am lost for words, I don't know what to say My head's
spinning like a carousel, so silently I pray Helpless and hopeless, that's
how I feel inside Nothing's real, but all is possible if God is on my side
When I'm with you I am in the light where I cannot be found It's as though I
am standing in the place called Hallowed Ground Speechless, speechless,
that's how you make me feel Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is
for real I'll go anywhere and do anything just to touch your face There's no
mountain high I cannot climb I'm humbled in your grace Speechless,
speechless, that's how you make me feel Though I'm with you I am lost for
words and nothing is for real Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me
feel Though I'm with you I am far away, and nothing is for real Speechless,
speechless, that's how you make me feel Though I'm with you I am lost for
words and nothing is for real Speechless Your love is magical, that's how I
feel But in your presence I am lost for words Words like, "I love you." -

This song is one of my favourites. Finding true love is a dream that alot of people hold... letting love find you then holding it in on your heart and feeling its presence is somewhat amazing. Having something so close, that tosses and turns your mind whilst capturing a pure feeling that no one can explain...

... Love shouldnt be explained only showed... through little glances, to big hugs, to nothing physical at all..."its just love baby, just love"

xxx

2006-04-16T23:30:00.000+10:00

This is the air I breath, this is the air I breath
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread, this is my daily bread
You were very worried spoken to me

And I, IÂ´m desperate for you
And I, IÂ´m lost without you

This is the air I breath, this is the air I breath
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread, this is my daily breath
You were very worried spoken to me

CHORUS
And I, IÂ´m desperate for you (IÂ´m desperate for you)
And I, IÂ´m lost without you (IÂ´m lost without you)

IÂ´m lost without you

This is the air I breath, this is the air I breath
Your holy presence living in me

CHORUS

IÂ´m lost without you (3x)

... from death, no life, no angels, no ...
more things in the present, more things to come
no powers, no fight, no death, no any other created thing
will be able to separate us from beloved GOD ...

The slow tick-tick of my own little rocket clock seems to spread confusion and specticle through my mind. Today i read a very personal blog and special journal, i dont even know this person but it touched me and moved me very much so. Pure emotion flooded the screen depicting her most inner thoughts and closest fears. I sat in my seat teary eyed with my jaw to the floor in complete amazement.

I feel for the poor thing, she really has fought a battle and i think she will fovever which is the saddest thing. Struggling to complete daily life without questioning everything must be hard, dealing and wheeling her thoughts every minute of the day. The fact that it was all self inflicted makes me shudder... she never meant for it to go this way-

..."i´m still convinced that love is the stongest thing on earth"..."so don´t give up on it"...

-A very special friend reminded me of this today and i thank him for that. Spending time alone and seeing and realising that it aint all that bad is a blessing. Be strong and dont hold back on love. I have seriously realised that i cannot get enough of my friends and their smiles. Sipping my coffee and chatting for hours is pure bliss! I hope it stays this way and i get to see many faces that i dearly miss so much.

Always,
Ben xxx

2006-04-12T19:47:00.000+10:00

Dearest Hilary...

Someone's Watching Over Me Lyrics

VERSE 1

I FOUND MYSELF TODAY, OH I FOUND MYSELF AND RAN AWAY, BUT SOMETHING PULLED ME BACK, VOICE OF REASON I FORGOT I HAD, ALL I KNOW IS YOU'RE NOT HERE TO SAY, WHAT YOU ALWAYS USED TO SAY, BUT IT'S WRITTEN IN THE SKY TONIGHT

CHORUS

SO I WON'T GIVE UP, NO, I WON'T BREAK DOWN, SOONER THAN IT SEEMS LIFE TURNS AROUND, AND I WILL BE STRONG EVEN IF IT ALL GOES WRONG, WHEN I'M STANDING IN THE DARK I'LL STILL BELIEVE, SOMEONE'S WATCHING OVER ME

VERSE 2

SEEN THAT RAY OF LIGHT, AND IT'S SHINING ON MY DESTINY/ SHINING ALL THE TIME/ AND I WON'T BE AFRAID/ TO FOLLOW EVERYWHERE IT'S TAKING ME/ ALL I KNOW IS YESTERDAY IS GONE/ AND RIGHT NOW I BELONG/ TO THIS MOMENT/ TO MY DREAMS

CHORUS

SO I WON'T GIVE UP, NO, I WON'T BREAK DOWN, SOONER THAN IT SEEMS LIFE TURNS AROUND, AND I WILL BE STRONG EVEN IF IT ALL GOES WRONG, WHEN I'M STANDING IN THE DARK I'LL STILL BELIEVE, SOMEONE'S WATCHING OVER ME

BRIDGE

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY /AND IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES/BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOU'LL FLY HIGH/ AND IT ONLY MATTERS HOW TRUE YOU ARE/ BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART

CHORUS

SO I WON'T GIVE UP, NO, I WON'T BREAK DOWN, SOONER THAN IT SEEMS LIFE TURNS AROUND, AND I WILL BE STRONG EVEN IF IT ALL GOES WRONG, WHEN I'M STANDING IN THE DARK I'LL STILL BELIEVE...

THAT I WON'T GIVE UP NO, I WON'T BREAK DOWN, SOONER THAN IT SEEMS LIFE TURNS AROUND AND, I WILL BE STRONG EVEN WHEN IT ALL GOES WRONG, WHEN I'M STANDING IN THE DARK I'LL STILL BELIEVE...

THAT SOMEONE'S WATCHING OVER

SOMEONES'S WATCHING OVER

SOMEONE'S WATCHING OVER ME

yeaaa yehhh
oh-OH

Someone's watching over me

....Love Ya

2006-04-11T13:56:00.000+10:00

We don't do robot music!

2006-04-03T22:37:00.000+10:00

The deep and thoughtful image of what people are doing to themselves makes me wonder what they are thinking. Makes me wonder what i was thinking and how i could just put my precious soul on the edge of a cliff when i didnt know at the time there was a bottom.

It destroys my interaction and thought of friendship when i know nothing has changed. I hear the same voices crying out for help and all i can do is watch and wait. I just want to scream out and yell "leave the shit" and experience the true side of of life that incorporates true struggle and pure happiness.

When i got the sms from that special friend i wondered what he was really thinking... could i hear his heart screaming out for help or was it just another sign of lonliness?

All i wanted to do was stand on my imaginary soap box and point and explain how it feels to be free and in that safe state of mind again. The state of mind that actually lets in old memories of love and new encounters of blissful smiles. I asked the question- "would they ever leave the fake crazy life of bass and colour...for the conscience growth of being alive?"

That answer cannot be explained or even discovered...only the future will tell. Should i put effort in to finding the normal routine of these friendships and see these beautiful minds slip away into nothing- a blank surreal cloud? *VENT*

I wish that i could relive some special moments of real closeness with these people...but only time will tell if i find that in them again. I just worry about there heath... not that they are always tired but how their minds are...god where ever you are... keep them safe... for me.

Sweetdreams

2006-04-03T13:55:00.000+10:00

The Sound Of San Francisco

by N/A
Global Deejays
Paris, London, L.A., Chicago, Tokyo, Baghdad, New York, hear the Global Deejays, Moscow, Memphis, Cape Town, Dallas, Amsterdam, Boston, Berlin, San-Fran-cisco

If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go to San Francisco

Paris, London, L.A., Chicago, Tokyo, Baghdad, New York, hear the Global deejays, Moscow, Memphis, Cape Town, Dallas, Amsterdam, Boston, Berlin, San-Fran-cisco

If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in you hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people
(some gentle people, some gentle people, some gentle people)
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go
In the street
In the streets of San Francisco

Global deejays

San-Fran-cisco

2006-03-29T20:12:00.000+11:00

-Display alerts when contacts come online-

-Display alerts when an instant message is recieved-

Calling Jorge at work was the best thing that has happened in a while. Feeling nervous when pressing the buttons and listening for the different and wierd ring tone made my heart race. As soon i heard the soft smooth accent i dearly missed i fell kind of at peace. As i listened i learned that he was safe and doing well, slowly developing his career in which i provided minimal contructive advice when he was attempting an assignment back in the day.

Sharing short stories and keeping my voice down as my Supervisor walked past to help one of the girls with another annoying complaint...some guy from the U.S i think. As i giggled to myself and tried to express my thoughts as much as i could, time passed quickly.

The phrase "i love you" was exchanged and ideas about seeing each other were shared. Honestlyi couldnt think about anything else... my work was short and un-productive in the last few hours of the day.

I called Lucy and insisted that we took our arvo break coz i desperately needed a quick tobacco fix. Trying to comprehend that i actually made the contact that i was so fucking hungry for made me feel completely alive...

... I feel thankful i dont know why but i just do...

2006-03-28T23:39:00.000+11:00

Give It Back- Gaelle

Give it back
You hijacked my mind so

I'm falling in circles
Can't catch my fall so
I need you to be close 'cause
Where you go, I'll follow
So give it back

In my bed
Sleeping not
I cannot explain what's in my head
Longing for
An empty thought
But I seem to think of you instead

You blew my mind away
And I can't let you go

Took it and ran away
Just had to let you know

Just dropped a line to say
That I lost all control

You blew my mind away

(CHORUS)

In my head
And in my heart
I cannot complain
No one competes
Longing for this pace to stop
Never been the same
Since you loved me

You blew my mind away
Now that I'm torn apart

Took it and ran away
Is when you come for my heart

There's nothing left to say
And I don't know where to start

Give back my thoughts to me

(CHORUS)

Kiss me

*and i still think of him...but has this really happened? maybe its just one of those things that we should leave and attempt to rescue another day or keep locked in ones box to be show-cased to who ever at that special moment...*

2006-03-28T08:56:00.000+11:00

Sitting at my desk and surrounded but kind and loving people i have finally discovered that im where i want to be. Memories flood my imagination and play with my senses. Sitting 29 Floors above the beeping sound of George Street, i have finally found a normal routine that involves me being myself and exploring the real time experience of life in general.

Walking up to the bus stop every 8:00am i see similar faces that represent my fight for both freedom and strictly self control. Drawing back on my morning cigarettes i think and and happy. Seeing the city waking up and trying to breath makes me wonder whats around the corner.

It been nearly a month of pure interest and "new shit". Finding another side of me that appreciated the past and looks deep into the future... i know that the future isn't clear and i understand that it will near be. Mind games and complete confusion has been lost in transformation creating a smooth and comfortable times.

I think of some special friends nearly everyday and it makes me wonder what they are up to and whats around the corner for them...

...Watching the final episode of Sex and the City on the weekend always makes me wonder but in the end i know it's all "fabulous"...

2006-03-10T22:37:00.000+11:00

Ahh finally my fingers get to press these fabulous square instruments of "rrrreehhhh" again...
The ease and routine aspects of working life is half becoming addictive, actually i dont think work will ever become addictive unless the music is thumping my friends are dancing and all that stuff isnt the easiest to include in a office... although im excited to open up and throw some classic moves in daily working life.

I seem to have alot of time to think these days and i enjoy that alot, but also it farking does my head in sometimes. I miss many people and i know that they will always be there for me which is sooo comforting. Thats what its all about isnt it?

Samsung. My newest and most improved love hate relationship. Yes my mobile phone is definately all over the shop. It sends sms and accepts calls and allows me to make calls perfectly but the screen is definately becoming geriatric. I took a picture of myself blowing smoke out of my mouth and its currently the background, due to the malnurished colours in the display i have the most perfect tan and my eyes are bright blue (normally brown). Ahh the ease of having a miracle makeover on cards that my phone is slowly but surely drops its guts.

So... new job...new lifestyle (but has kept the true spirit)...new outlook...same friends...all love!

2006-02-28T21:57:00.000+11:00

Turning a key in the ignition never has been so much fun. As i drove up the mountains with the sweet victory of getting a "full time interesting job in the city" in the back of my mind i was on a beautifully timed natural high. Driving behind a ute with cute eye candy sitting in the passenger seat i turned up the radio to a very satisfying volume to accommodate my giant smile...

As i got into the road trip atmosphere and pure bliss of driving in the sun with the music loud some of the hottest most camp, sexy, manky, "dancing all over the shop styled" tracks played of our beloved Nova... i thank them for this.

Madonna's- Sorry, Vandalism's- Never Say Never, Andy J-Tilt My Hat!

My dirty plastic facials, jiggle of hips and cheeky smile were out and swinging... Mmmm pure heaven. This feeling that literally takes over me is what i actually thrive on... only a few people actually understand this feeling (Emma, Josh and Troy)...my dear friends and members of the campiest dance group of all! I feel that they can relate to the direct impact and especially dance music has on people...

...Soon i will be with them again surrounded by those bright lights and thumping speakers... but this time it'll will be more special and true... Love it!

2006-02-28T15:52:00.000+11:00

Love vs Frustration

I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly

I wanna sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
i wanna a pillow of bluebonnets
and a blanket made of stars

Oh it sounds good to me

I said Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and any
Closer to you closer to you

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall

I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile

Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and any
Closer to you closer to you

I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly
Oh it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and any
Closer to you closer to you

Closer to you
Closer to you

...yeah i know...

2006-02-22T21:06:00.000+11:00

With a ring-ring from my mobile, and a short conversation i was literally shoved on this high that i couldn't control. My mind was free and i felt that i could fly. my body felt untouchable but extremely out there, i wanted to jump and spin and be crazy... so i did. I turned on Rogue Traders "Watching You" and too be honest was being the campiest most mankiest thing you have seen...fabulously happy...

When i got this second interview at the travel company that i recently applied for i was happy. I felt that i would be completely inderpendent once again... oh course with a difference. I want to see my friends again all of my friends, start a fresh, explore the reality that my life now is.
A clean slate is something that i dont want, i wanna keep my memories without keeping some habits. I want to show some people that im strong and can be my complete individual without the need to explain or sometimes show. I want to throw that little voice as for as it can go...I dont want to ever look back a time without smiling, i dont want to question myself anymore.

The year of 2006 wont be a cliched "new me" year... fuck that, im me and slowly but refreshingly beginning to appreciate everything that matters...

Over and Out (for today)

2006-02-21T19:24:00.000+11:00

2006-02-19T19:02:00.000+11:00

Sitting in the back yard of my parents place on my box where i smoke i honestly had absolutely nothing to do. Feeling the heat and not enjoying Peter Jacksons finest i went inside to grab the car keys so i could run up to Civic Video and grab a quick arfternoon flick. This urge to sit on my ever inflating arse seemed fantastic.
I wandered to and fro through the different sections in the video store having many arguments with myself and confusing feelings about what i wanted to watch...
After about 20minutes i decided that i didnt want to be in the shop anymore and the idea about getting a movie soon disappeared so i left. Driving home with no music that interested me i arrived home in a huff and over it. I dont know how much longer i can handle this boring atmosphere up here... Lets do this shit!

2006-02-18T20:33:00.000+11:00

Today i watched "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants"... and it was fabulous.

My mind was drawn to this extremely attractive Greek boy who falls in love with the chick from 'Gilmore Girls' and how he just seemed to beam with love and romance.

The little smiles and how have his eyes sparkled made me get goose-bumps...

...oh and his accent was sweeter than a litre of GBH!

2006-02-18T16:32:00.000+11:00

-The Crack Pipe that Could-

There was once a little pipe whose name was Geneveve.

She loved to play with her crazy and zany friend Tina.

One weekend Geneveve and Tina were spending many hours together and having a great time. They would go swimming and dancing and they would even play "smoke signals" for fun.

The weekend was coming to a close and Geneveve and Tina were playing baseball in the yard. Tina was swinging for her last shot when suddenly she let go of the bat and it flew and hit Geneveve in the head.

Tina raced over to see if her friend was ok. Geneveve stood up and felt ok apart from the little crack in her head she was fine...

-THE END-

2006-02-14T14:19:00.000+11:00

"Blow a kiss to Uncle Sam...I see you watching me watching you ROCK!! "

Yes because i think they are fan-fucking-tastic and have made me smile from ear to ear these little trading rogues... the electricity of James Ash's remixes have brought many moments in which i would dance crazy in the kitchen... ahh fabulous!

http://www.roguetraders.com.au/

2006-02-13T20:16:00.000+11:00

Well here we are and im kinda actually wondering what to do...

I can definately say that this sixual year of 2006 has come on very fast and extremely unexpectant. When i actually sit here and attempt to describe my year so far -which was my aim in my little blogs birth- seems to be much more hazed and confusing than i thought not that long ago. I can basically describe it in a few words such as fabulous, fucked and frantic.

As my boney ass sits here and considers the position that im currently in (without a job and away from my lovely friends) I actually can feel some warm feeling coming from kind and loving words from the comfort of a once very close boy now far, far away...

http://hilary-duff.lyrics-songs.com/lyrics/74438/

Might latest craze of 'coming clean' and taking that big step into a daily and weekly routine that encompases me emotionally physically and also financially. Someone told me recently that "drugs are like lemons, we are either allergic or not". I could never find a happy medium with these crazy little critters we call drags...sorry typo, drugs. I would be captured and thrown around, speachless but yelling irrelevant abbuse, i loved myself but my friends even more (or some strange smiling man downstairs at ARQ)...why? Because my gap would be filled and strength that i never would reach out and grab the attention of others through humour, love and plain old dancing. I knew little or none at all about these people for a while and when i did i was hooked and felt wanted/appreciated.

I can honestly sit here now and say that meeting these people was a blessing and a godsend. Drugs has played such a minimal part in our friendships and wont be a part in the near and far future. These few people know who they are because they are clicking their mice (hehe yes they can double-click my mouse anyday!) right now... T.B.C

p.s- a very special song, from me to you...Love Ben

http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Janet-Jackson/Again.html